


What If

by Razorling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannibalism, Gore, Sad with a Happy Ending, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 08:31:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14849312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razorling/pseuds/Razorling
Summary: Adam is too young to understand why his mother is so scared, but soon he will and the events of that night will scar him forever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this story is based on a HC I have where the Ghouls that attacked Adam and his mother still do it, but way sooner, when he's just a kid. I plan on writing an entire novel about the events after that fateful night, but it's not going to happen soon at all, maybe in some years.
> 
> Be warned that it's bloody and gory and just overall traumatizing, I feel bad for Adam.
> 
> I have no beta, so sorry any mistakes.

**Prologue**

 

There are many “what ifs” in our lives, so many that the amount of different lives we could have lived because of a choice we or another person made are endless, but these lives, these choices, they are not  _ only  _ that. Let me tell you a secret: they are all the “what ifs” that _happened_.

 

**Remembrance**

 

At that time I didn’t know why I was so different than the other kids, I acted like them because a part of me urged to do so, play pretend, run with the other kids just for the sake of it. It was freeing and thrilling at the same time.

 

Since I can remember I felt different than the other children, I was tiny like them, I needed to learn things like any other kid of my age, but at the same time for more that I was with them and played together with others the same age as me I never felt connected, sometimes certain things that they did just irritated me and I would often call it a day when I reached this point, at the same time I was terrified of the idea that they could notice this strangeness, I felt deep down that I should blend, that I should  _ hide  _ for some reason, and so I tried my best to act my age.

 

Another strange thing about me is that I learned to read people even before I learned how to talk and that is one of my strangest memories so far. I could tell when someone was lying most of the times, it was something about the way they talked, or looked to the side, simple small things that would often give them away, children was easier to tell of course, but with time I learned to read adults as well and mother always encouraged this ‘talent’ of mine even when it backfired to her. I also was very articulated for my age, just by hearing once the way people talked around me, new words, I would learn and seeing this as an opportunity to teach me mother always would speak clearly when by my side. I still had a bit of a lisp until reaching four, but people still seemed surprised when I started talking so fluidly.

 

Despite those little things that would make me uneasy, even as a toddler I was still very energetic and maybe because I wanted so much to ‘fit’ I was a bit of a trouble child, always climbing in trees and rolling in the dirt like some wild animal and depending on how tired mother was she would either laugh or scold me, but even then she couldn’t hide her half smile.

 

Remembering those days are painful, the worst part is that they are always so clear in my mind. The old kindergarten that I used to go, the red and yellow walls and the so many drawings that covered it, the snotty little children that I used to call my friends and today I can’t remember their names, the playground near our home that mother used to bring me to play, the old dog that lived in there that I creatively named Dog, even the gray skies and the morning wind never faded from my memory.

 

Remembering her at first was so hard, everything good was muddled with her final moments and at first I thought I would never be able to remember without having a flashback or in my nightmares, but time, as wisely said, do heal even the worst wounds.

 


	2. Nightmare

I remember that day very clearly, so much so that it still haunts me until today more than any other monster that could cross my path.

 

I remember mom put me inside of her wardrobe and closed the door begging me in whispers to not make a sound, she didn’t greet me happily that day like she always did when picking me up from kindergarten, she was tense and nervous and I knew something was wrong the moment I saw her, even as a little child I could tell and that made me nervous as well.

 

I stayed in there for gods know how long, for me it felt like days, but I’m sure it was just a few hours. I heard she talking on the phone, crying and asking for help “Please, he’s your son John!” it was all I could hear before the strange sound began.

 

At first I thought it was a rat walking inside the walls, mother was complaining about it the last few weeks and sometimes I had nightmares with giant rats trying to chew me up, but mother would always tell me to not to worry, that it was just a nightmare and most of the times I believed her, but that night things were different, there was a strange atmosphere in the air, something sinister lingering and I felt in my bones that something really bad would happen… I just didn’t knew how nightmarish it would be.

 

After some more excruciating minutes I heard what seemed like footsteps on the first floor, slow and creepy, much heavier than mother’s could be and then another joined the first, my heart was beating fast and I started shaking, but made sure to not make a sound just like mother said, I heard a third one, this time running down the stairs.

 

 _Mom._ I thought holding the tears threatening to escape from my eyes.

 

Then I heard screams and I knew it was mother and I couldn’t hold my tears, but still made no sound, I heard things break, a fight, more screams and then silence, I was shaking so bad that I was afraid whoever was attacking mother would hear me, but more than that I was so worried.

 

 _Mom, mom, mom, mom be fine, be fine, be fine, be fine…_ Was all I could think while I hugged my legs so hard it was hurting, but the pain was the only thing keeping me from getting out of that place and running down to look for her.

 

Minutes passed by in utter silence and when I thought maybe it was over I heard the footsteps again, this time coming up, I caught my breath and tightened the grip in my legs to stop myself from shaking even more, then I heard it.

 

“Hmmm where did mommy hid her kiddoo?” The voice was playful, there was a male hint on it, but could be either from a man or a woman, yet even if it sounded somewhat happy and non threatening at all I felt my blood freeze in my veins and the tears came back with a vengeance almost making me sob.

 

“I think we won’t find her little boy! She hid him so well, what a pity!” A different voice said, a more feminine one, but with the same playful tone, together with this other voice I could also hear something being dragged and before I could prepare myself the door of my mother’s room was slammed open and I almost jumped.

 

I heard the dragging sound again and then something was slammed on the floor. Through the gap of the wardrobe door I could see my mother lying unconscious on the ground, a big bump on her temple and her mouth slightly open. I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from sobbing loudly, before I could think though the other two came into view.

 

One was a man in his mid thirties, tall and lanky with eyes of an eerie pale blue, he was wearing a worn out and dirty suit and his hands were bloody, the girl by his side was way younger, barely a teenager,sher clothes were also worn out and dirty and it looked like it was a dress at some point, she had a wicked smile on her face that was nightmare-inducing, her face resembled the man a bit and so did her oily black hair, but her eyes were darker, difficult to tell which color with the poor illumination.

 

“Since we can’t find her baby, brother, maybe we should just… you know, feast?” Her smile became even more wicked than it already was and for a second I could swear she looked right through the gap where I was.

 

Her brother laughed, dark, low and ominous, like a chilling wind before the beginning of a disaster and just like that they lunged at my mother and all I could do was watch wide eyed and shocked, my body froze, the shaking that was so hard before simply ceased, my tears dried in my eyes, my whole skin was tingling and my tongue felt like sand in my mouth, the world was spinning, but all I could do was watch unblinking while these two monsters in human skin devoured the only person that I ever had, my only family, in slow motion, like time itself was enjoying to see me break.

 

KPOW!

 

And with the sound of gunfire time started again, too fast, too blurry I saw the body of the man that was eating my mother flying to the side with the force of the impact and at the same time his sister screamed an unholy cry that made my shaking return in the blink of an eye together with my tears and my frenzied heart, this time though I couldn’t stop the sobs escaping from my mouth for more that I tried to shut myself up.

 

I heart more gunshots and screams and then I saw the man that was shot _getting up_ and lunging towards whoever was shooting them, I heard more screams and shouts and furniture breaking, I heard someone falling from the stairs and what seemed like a boy calling “dad” with a strained voice and then the dying scream of the girl, because the sound she make could only be that, followed by her brother’s raging cry and then his own final one.

 

Everything went still and silent to the point the only sound that could be heard was my loud and ugly sobs and for more that I tried I couldn’t stop myself anymore, I heard footsteps again, lighter, they came to the room and faster than I could think about running a boy opened the wardrobe and looked at me wide eyed.

 

“Oh my god!” It was what he said before kneeling in front of me and hugging me tight, taking me out of the wardrobe and covering my eyes from the mess that was my mother’s body, but it was too late, I saw everything, I saw them _eating_ her, I couldn’t ever unsee that. Then my body started shaking again and all I could do was sob even harder and the tears didn’t stop.

 

“Shh, it’s okay now, you were brave, you were so brave, it’s okay…” He said to me in a broken whisper, almost like convincing himself too that things were okay on that moment, this made me only cry harder, not screaming, just more intensely, my whole body shaking with my sobs and all I could do was hold tight on his neck like a lifeline, I didn’t knew who he was, but I hoped with all my heart that with him I would be safe from the monsters, from this nightmare. He kept talking to me soothing words until he reached the other person that was helping him, but I couldn’t bring myself to look, I was terrified of what I would see if I opened my eyes, if I let go of this person.

 

“He was inside the wardrobe, dad.” He said making small soothing circles in my back with his hands. “I think… He saw everything.”

 

“Damn…” His dad said, his voice also barely a whisper. “We have to go, it’s impossible someone haven’t heard all that noise and screaming.”

 

“But what about him?” The boy that was holding me asked almost aggressively.

 

“He will come with us of course! We’re his only family now.” After hearing his words I forced myself to look at him and with wide eyes I saw the same man on the photo that mother would often tell me was my dad.

 

“Dad…” I said between a sob, I didn’t know what to think, everything was so wrong that I couldn’t even feel happy for seeing my father for the first time like I have dreamed all the times mom would tell me about him.

 

“Hey son.” His voice just like his face were filled with pain and I could see it wasn’t just because of the injury in his right arm. “I’m sorry we took so long to arrive.” He stroked my hair with calloused hands, and looked at the boy holding me, my… brother? He called him dad too. “We’ve to go now Dean.”

 

 _Dean._ I memorized and this man in front of us was John, my dad.

 

I didn’t know what to feel at that moment, the fact that I was not alone was a relief, knowing I still had a family was a miracle and not only I was able to finally meet my dad, it seemed I also had a brother, if this was one day ago I would be jumping like the energetic kid that I was, throwing a party and running to and fro, but all I could think at that moment was the mutilated body of my mother and those horrible creatures feasting upon her flesh, I think I threw up in Dean's shoulder before darkness welcomed me.

 


End file.
